Day 3

Hello Day number 3. This feels like a repeat of day 2. I think the reason for this is because I have not started the Very low calorie diet, so the only thing I have to worry about is the shot, which was not a big deal at all this morning. I am very anxious to start the diet part, just to see how the diet works with the shot. I keep envisioning how I will be if I was 30- 40 pounds lighter, and the one thing I got excited about was wearing some of my jewelry that doesn't quite fit. I am sure there will be other things that I look forward to once I start loosing, but that was one thing that stuck out today.

I have already noticed what my relationship to food is, and I don't feel like I am married to it, but then I realize how food is at the head of almost every event out there. If you don't have food, they won't come. I am hoping that when there are events or activities that I am involved in, I will be able to be strong and not want to give in. I won't be around a computer for a few days, so the next time I write, it will be day 7, wohoo!

Day 2

Day 2, oh what a beautiful day. I woke up thinking that giving myself a shot would now be a piece of cake (no pun intended), but it was quite opposite when it came down to the actual shot giving. I went through the same scared emotions as the day before and asked my daughter if she would hang out with me and give me a little courage. I finally got around to the actual shot part, and the needle would not go in, so I had to retry it in another spot. It finally worked, but followed with another bout of wooziness. I cured it with a drink of water. It made me wonder if this is the way it was going to be every time or was it something I would get use to. I also worried that if I did get lightheaded, would water cure it every time, or would I need to resort to something solid like a cracker, but I really don't want to do that once I start the very low calorie diet. I plan on sticking to it and following it word for word. I am hoping it won't be that hard because yesterday when I was trying to load up on foods, I really didn't eat any differently than I usually do, I just couldn't stuff myself, plus I am not a binge eater. I think this has to do with the PCOS. That is another thing that I am worried about, will this diet work if I have PCOS? I have tried to read up on it online, and there are a few cases here and there, and most were successful, so here is to my success. The picture above was taken a month ago. I will periodically post pictures, so you can see my progress.

Day 1

Today is the first day of starting HCG. Of course I was very nervous. I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up all of my supplies and my hands were shaking when I handed the cashier my money. I had all of these thoughts running through my head. Am I doing the right thing here, is this really going to work, can I really stick to this diet plan.



I started out this morning by weighing myself. I weighed a whopping 240. I am trying to decide if my scale is going to be accurate enough. I bought it yesterday. It was the cheapest digital scale I could find, but it looked sturdy so in it went into my basket. I tested it out yesterday and I had several different outcomes. I am 4 pounds lighter in the morning than I was yesterday, but of course I weighed my self naked, but not so sure my clothes weigh 4 pounds. I figure the only thing I should worry about is if the numbers are going down, and my clothes are becoming loose.



The next step this morning was to give my self the HCG shot. I was overly nervous because when I gave myself a test shot in the weight loss clinic it took me nearly 20 minutes just to talk myself into it, and another 10 just to prepare my leg. Unfortunately the outcome was not good. I ended up hitting a vein and blood poured out. It really wasn't as bad as it sounds, but just the sight of my own blood on my thigh made me light headed. The nurse had to grab me some water and a cookie. I thought it was comical that a weight loss center would offer me a cookie. Good start to the diet. So I got all of my supplies to get ready for my shot and I had my 8 year old daughter at home with me, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her that I had to give myself a shot, I didn't want to scare her. I decided that it would be best to let her know what was going to be happening every morning. I didn't want her to walk in and find me giving myself a shot and her not knowing why. I think it was the best idea to tell her, although I did tell her it was hormones and they are what help your body function for things such as mood, metabolism, and hair growth. She really didn't understand the metabolism part, so she really focused on the mood part, which I had to keep telling her it was not for my mood. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression. She watched me prepare the medicine and clean my leg. She decided the best thing for me would be to hold tightly onto her Hello Kitty doll, and to hold my hand and rub my back. Once I was ready for the shot, all of the bad thoughts came back, and I was ready to back out right then and there. I thought " How am I going to do this every day?" I decided to just go for it, and it wasn't bad at all. There was no blood this time and the wooziness was at a minimum. I am glad that this part is over. I already feel better about my decision to use the HCG and I am giddy thinking about the results.